If you were here

Yesterday was a particular bad day in office. We slogged like anything, and at the end of the day the big boss says, “You are doing it wrong…. I adviced you people to do it a different way. ” And so went the endless debates and stats and warnings blah blah blah.

When I came back to my flat, I was mentally exhausted. I know this is my decision and all….and now I can’t escape. But still then I was feeling low. So decided to go for PK. Now there’s a movie hall which should near my home as per Google maps. So aided with GPS, I went there, The online reviews for the hall was too bad. But I found it alright. Ticket prices was low, the crowd was friendly, and the movie was quite absorbing. Had a good time.

If I were in Kolkata, I could not even dream of going to a movie alone. Either R or friends….they are always there. We would go to a movie, pass comments during watching, have some snacks in the interval time, and return back home discussing it. I missed all of these. You gain some, you lose some.

The way the mind swings

I’m recently going through a myriad range of emotions. And as always, I feel I’m just an observer, watching it all unfold in front of me, but not touching me. I don’t know how that is possible, but this is not the first time it’s happening. I’m just a spectator in this drama; and an actor as well!

Last night, I was waiting for him to call. I really did want to talk nonsense with him. Well till 5 he didnt call. I woke up at 5 and pinged him….he replied a bit halfheartedly, then called me. And suddenly I realised I have nothing to talk about! I could feel that he called me only because I was angry, not because he wanted to talk; and as soon as I realised that, I lost all interest. So the call ended at 2 minutes rather badly.

Then he started messaging…..I’ll miss you and so on….basically he thought this was it. And I was too disinterested even to protest him. And I went to sleep.