And then came his confusion. Is it right? It is unethical. It is immoral. No …I cannot do this. This is it. No more. A sudden stop. Somebody who was occupying 100% of my waking hours, said this is it, no more. I . turned into a zombie. The world outside was a torture; every day I would wake up and decide this is the last day of my life. I would cry and scream and bleed the whole day. But it didn’t stop. The days went on, agonizingly slow.
I met him one day in office. It was just luck. That day he was going almost 12000 miles away from me. Without a closure. I was hysterical to say the least.. I was in a real physical pain. It felt that my lungs had stopped pumping air in me. my heart had lost its rhythm, all my body was in distress. But still I went on.
The days and months that passed after this was a blur. I carried on somehow, putting a facade in front of others. Alone in my room, I would curl into a ball. The pain that came in waves engulfed me . I was helpless, and I was sure that I can never recover from this. It was as if something was eating me from inside. But still…..It went on.